I have always been someone who can remember her dreams. In fact, even if I don’t remember them right when I wake up, I can be going about my day and something can trigger a memory.
And I pay attention for I believe there is truth there.
Yes, occasionally I consult dream dictionaries, but for me, it is my own interpretation that is most meaningful.
Last night I had a pretty significant dream. I was on a trip…aboard a ship or a plane, I’m not sure because it moved so quickly. And it had big windows. It seemed to defy physics, as things tend to do in a dreamlike state. There were a few people onboard, though I didn’t know any of them.
The big moment happened when the vessel, or maybe ferry is more appropriate, made a sharp turn to the left to change our heading. I was looking at the horizon, which had been pure daylight. And when we turned I saw the light change until we were traveling completely in darkness.
I spoke with the captain, who was conveniently right next to me, and I asked where the light went. He kindly explained the light is always there and then slightly turned the craft back, just enough for me to see it once more, before completing our turn again.
The light is always there, even when we are in the dark.
I returned to my seat where, wouldn’t you know it, I saw my yoga mat—rolled up and on top of my backpack. A guy stopped by and looked at the mat curiously. He said, “Do you practice?” “Yes,” I responded. And then he looked at me and said, “You have a beautiful Om,” meaning the sound and vibration. End of dream.
I woke up knowing my feelings. I knew it was ok to be in the dark.
February 13 of this year my relationship of 7 months ended. It was a very important relationship to me…and we ended it, mutually, lovingly, because we have different paths to walk.
I’ve spent the last month “processing”. What that really means is I’ve spent the last month feeling it. The separation. The sadness. I’m cried, a lot. Yes, chocolate ice cream has been involved. And yes, I have looked for a distraction—I’m making a ton of playlists and chanting, yes chanting, at midnight.
Yoga teaches life is a series of cycles and this will pass. We need the dark as much as the light.
Each time I go to my mat, the sadness, the emptiness, the darkness…it’s all there for me to feel right now. There’s no hiding. So I feel…it is a powerful teacher.
And I’m so thankful for all of it. I feel alive.